The Right, The Wrong - II

In every culture there are ways in which one is expected to behave, rules set to differentiate between the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. Norms established to castigate those who exhibit actions of deviation, and step into the not-to-be-talked-about other side, to the chamber of demons and grotesque evil that turns them into one of their own. Yet how many of us have actually been there? Is it really a chamber where red tongued demons float about in harmonious vice and lick the blood of the innocent? Or is it the superficial image imposed in our minds so lucidly by the even more superficial society? Isn’t it the same society where the discrepancy between the rich and the poor exemplify the dysfunctional county that we call home?

It amuses me how the perpetual fear of actions that may be frowned upon by society are obliged religiously by us, the middleclass people of the society. Getting a divorce, seeing a mental health consultant or even the innocent friendships between two young people of the opposite sex, let alone dating, are only a few examples of such actions. You and I may regard these as some common phenomenon that are often necessary and are completely viable. Nevertheless, I can still recall the perturbation that occurred in my family when my aunt was compelled to end her marriage after having been severely abused. She and her husband resided in London back then, where he ensured that she was always locked inside the house. He beat her up in front of their young children, scarred her body with cigarette burns and even forced her head down the toilet. The reasons for such atrocious actions were because of the stunning beauty that my aunt was, and because her husband was unable to quell his paranoia regarding her. Even looking outside the window would arouse suspicion in her husband. Eventually after the turmoil with the divorce subsided, the untold conclusion agreed upon by society and much of the family was that my aunt was to be blamed; for it is the female who should be more considerate, who should endure the heinous tortures and keep the marriage going. She has ever since isolated herself from the world and has been living in a dark little room in my grandmother’s colossal house in Banani for the last 15 years, refusing to speak with anybody or willing to leave her room, if not for the utmost necessity. She is on the brink of silent insanity. Her teenage children had once came back after 13 years to take their mother back home, but a woman who has become apathetic towards all human relationships couldn’t accept the offer to be with her children. How can I still wish to support a society that has impaired a mother’s emotions to such an extent that she has lost the desire to want to be with her children? The question is yours to answer.

In today’s advanced world, when feminism is being prioritized to the maximum, we the Bangalis still find it difficult to conform to the fact that an incompatible marriage is a marriage impossible to be consummated. Women are expected to bear whatever the circumstances maybe to make a marriage work. The instant the marriage ends it is the woman to be censured, to be eyed with much contempt. Our actions only consolidate the fact that regardless of the numerous television shows on human/female rights, newspaper articles narrating stories of abused women, the existence of feminism in our society is still to be questioned.

It is true that for every society or nation to function orderly there should be laws introduced to reprimand the ones who fail or refuse to act accordingly. What would be a valid explanation for wrong? Is it wrong for a young child to want what is not his own? I can inevitably assume you will disagree for the child doesn’t know what he should or should not want. The idea of wrong and right various with age groups, personalities and background. Yet how can we so easily claim that a person is wrong if in fact what we perceive to be wrong might be right to several others? Of course those committing crimes such as murder or robbery should palpably be penalized by the state laws, but what about the petty street muggers? Had it ever occurred to you why mugging has increased so much in recent times? Had the crime rate been so high if resources were properly allocated and there had been more employment? With the insane rate of inflation every single person of the country is struggling to go through yet another day. I myself know how much a 100tk. note is worth and how difficult it is for middleclass people like us to persevere living a decent life. On top of the struggle for survival we are also expected to behave in a socially and politically correct manner and steer clear of the judgments society might throw upon us.

My father often drags me to weddings or social gatherings of people that I don’t even acknowledge and often detest, against my own will. I ask him why. He says ‘You have to be social, people expect you to be there’ I tell him ‘Are they the same people who would be there for me when I would really need a little help? Are these the people who would empathize with me in my times of trouble?’ I ask him the questions for in my twenty years of life I have had enough experience of human behavior, have had experienced the real troubles of life and have seen more of how selfish the society can be than most people, around me, twice my age have. Yet I consider myself to be exceptionally lucky to be where I am, because I know of the hardships that the people of our country go through that are nothing compared to what I had experienced.

In our dominant conservative society, freedom of speech or a candid expression is strictly prohibited. How do we continue to rely and willingly opt to abide by the rules set by society, when the ones who control the society seldom act according to their lofty words? When they are dinning with Satan himself and pointing fingers at us? When their sons and daughters are associated with all they have identified as wrong while they sit around and pass sardonic judgments on you and your offspring? Perhaps we are blind, blind to see all the obscenities, the injustice and the sycophancy so impeccably hidden. Or rather, are we frightened? Frightened of being labeled, being known in society as ‘the one’ who broke the rules and ‘the one' that should be discriminated and questioned, better yet discarded?
It goes beyond us to notice the intolerance that curbs our society. How many times have you shooed away a starving beggar for whom only a mere 2tk. would have sufficed and how many times have you spent thousands on KFC chicken and sizzling steaks? Before the previous statement misleads you, I would like to clarity that I am not against enjoying a fancy dinner; rather I myself grasp the opportunity when I am given one. But it just gets me perplexed as to why it is so difficult for the people in the posh cars who live in their own little world of glitz, to apprehend that they can assuage the hunger of at least one unfortunate battered child a day.
If it is an entire community that comprises of this so-called society, then why are only a certain group of vulnerable people to be questioned and victimized by clever ruses? I think it is time for all of us to take a moment and ponder about how our life functions for it is you who can make a difference. We are a free nation, but sadly enough, we are yet to be fully emancipated.