I have always dreaded growing up. I have numerous well justified reasons to support the previous statement. To begin with, the first few months of life to me resemble living in a posh hotel with great food, unbelievable room service, and even more. Think about it, you are fed, bathed, always entertained, and even when you need to use the toilet, the toilet comes to you! aka diapers; If you experience the slightest bit of discomfort, a nice little scream ought to get you all the attention in the world and have your parents go nuts in a futile effort to figure out what is bothering their precious little one. Not being able to speak also comes in handy. Feel free to poop on somebody’s lap or break that expensive piece of china your mother got from China, for there is no explaining to be expected from you. Now who would want to give all of that up? It was all going too well until you learned to speak and later walk.
At first it might get you a little stupefied to witness your parents reaction when you blurt out your first words, and I’m sure most kids wonder in bemusement, ‘What is the big deal? They do this all the time!’ I know I did. And it’s also rather overwhelming to see how they go gaga over you being able to walk, but sadly that phase, like all things in life, does not last for long. With every year that keeps adding to your tiny age, things gradually begin getting arduous. No more ‘toilet service’, for most kids no more being fed (although I have a 26 year old friend whose mother still feeds him, it’s absolutely inexcusable), sleeping alone in the dark, and the worst of all you can’t get away with the petty crimes of breaking random stuff anymore; now there is a lot of explaining to do, along with scolding, grounding and all of that drama.
The best part about the freedom of conquering more territory with the newly obtained skills of walking and speech is undoubtedly, going to school. Now I am aware that school has all the complexities of trying to belong, doing good yet strictly abstaining from the ‘geek’ title, and several other juvenile issues, but none of that surfaces when you are in your first or second grade (except maybe for some awfully mature kids..cable TV); it’s all about coloring, singing and learning the alphabets, yet the first day of school is perhaps the most gruesome day for most children. I was petrified to be in the same room with 25 other little monsters like myself, thinking ‘so how should I defend myself if I’m being attacked? Whose side is the teacher on?’ Turns out we were all individual teams and the teacher thought it best to stay out of the massacre.As you soon begin to get acclimatized to your new surroundings, you find yourself in middle school and later high school and all those juvenile issues are at full swing now. Despite of how juvenile they may appear, be sure to know that you will always be judged according to your image back in school by your school friends. Say you are big shot model now, the whole country knows you and you have a massive billboard of yourself up on Gulshan Avenue drinking ‘Tiger Energy Drink’, but when your school friends congregate and talk about you, be certain for somebody to point out, ‘Remember how she wet her pants in 3rd grade? That was firkin hilarious and now she is a model!’ And you can almost hear the laughs reverberating in your head.
Regardless, school would perhaps have to be the best part of your life. That’s where you discover all about life, the opposite sex and sex itself, a bit of love, cheating, playing pranks on people, geography, the often capricious human behavior, have a little exciting encounter with tobacco, pot or alcohol and the list goes on.I never wanted High School to end; yes I have had my bad times too which were often excruciating, but it’s the time when you are with the friends you've been with since childhood, and it feels like home. I do believe that the best friends you can ever make are the ones you make in school and no one can interpret you better, well that is usually the norm for the most part.
The next phase is going to college. As exciting as it was to ponder about college life and indulge into the idea of a new beginning with new people and undo all that went wrong in high school, it is undeniably not the scenario when you are studying at North South University, or any other university in town for that matter. Why I mention North South is because that is where I go to and can safely say that I absolutely detest the place. The reason behind this perception regarding universities in town is because Dhaka is a very small city and no matter which college you go to, you will inevitably end up with random friends that you wish you had never seen again, the new ones you meet probably have their own little group of friends, and it is better to keep a safe distance away from the rest of them that is out there. It’s almost like you are in your 30s and making new friends is like trying to pass for a 15 year old. In my case almost all my friends from school have escaped to the different continents looking for quality education while a couple of us who are too unfortunate to have that fancy, settled back for the last best thing aka NSU
It is hard to oversee that even though we are in our much anticipated 20s, and amidst more forms of entertainment to spoil ourselves with than ever before, we are also getting increasingly bored of life. Remember when you were a kid all you had to do was get together with your friends and simply run around in a room or jump on the bed and that the most fun thing to do in the world! Now it’s all about, ‘So where are we gonna go eat? do you have a smoke? Who is getting the booze?’ and the invariable and unsolvable monetary problem persists. ‘I’m broke’ is arguable my most used statement. There is no place for recreation (and by that I do not refer to the sauntering/lingering around in creepy shopping malls) in Dhaka and all you can do is go to some restaurant with friends to have not-so-great food for a considerable amount of money, a sad result of the skyrocketing price hike we are experiencing now and the lack of implementation of the consumer protection rights. Life certainly does not seem fair.
The worst aspect of growing up to me is all the growing issues that tag along with it. Learn to be selfish, diplomatic, political, hypocrisy can also be utilized at times, ability to handle terrible levels of stress, tension and all the other unwanted terms. Hell I just want to be myself! But apparently that is too much to ask for after you are of a certain age. It’s all about being socially and politically correct.
The scary part about all of this is we are barely reaching our mid-20s and it freaks me out to think about all that is in the offing. Soon will come the 30s, 40s, 50s and more if you are lucky, and if we are freaking out at our 20s, there palpably is going to be a lot more to freak out about later. Why it is probably scary for me is perhaps because I do not plan out my future, never have. I take each day as it comes, a risky move maybe but that is the only way I can survive. I have friends who have the next five to even ten years planned out and I can barely plan to finish an assignment on a scheduled time! Something tells me life won’t be fun for me after graduation and I can’t ignore the whole frenzy of trying to find a job in this corporate whirlpool and being able to keep it. I have had almost a years' experience working for a news paper though and to be honest, it was the most exciting thing I had ever done. Don’t know if I will have the same opinion about the one that will earn me a living.
Let’s not overlook the fact that you also have to find someone to woo lest you end up an ‘old maid’. I can safely say that I'm not worried about that. I do have a great plan though; the only future I see myself in is living in an astounding beach house with a ton of money, sitting alone on the terrace overlooking the undulating waters in a windy evening. (No idea where the money or the house is coming from). And so my mother tells me ‘what happens when you get sick, who is going to take care of you then if you are alone?’ And I tell her ‘I’ll have enough money to hire people to do that for me and look at you, you spend all your money on your children and they disappoint you at times, make you miserable, and taking care of the family is simply exhausting and what is so great about that? You should’ve never gotten married and had kids, rather you should’ve spent all your money on vacations!’ and she smiles back and tells me that it is gratifying. I know the woman has a point but I refuse to comply. I would rather buy a puma store for myself than spend money on my nonexistent kids.
With everything said, I should also admit that growing up isn’t always bad, in fact it can be pretty wonderful. Growing up unveils all the things that you had fantasized about as a kid, such as being independent, earning your own money (which isn’t working out great for me, since I quit my job a few months back), dating, being responsible for your actions etc. It’s terribly ironic how when you are a child all you desire is to do is grow up, and when you are there, you wish you could go back to being a child, undo all that you could and just relish the simpler things in life. I guess that’s why they call life an enigma, who knows when we will figure that one out!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Work!
Its been almost 2 months since i last blogged, not a good sign. Seems like I am the only one keeping count :) Somehow life has yet again become oddly hectic, not to mention stressful. Its 2 am and I'm taking one of my several breaks from the insane complexity of calculus. sighh..
I should be off now, the problems wont solve themselves!
I should be off now, the problems wont solve themselves!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Let the rain come down tonight
The night sky lit up
For a blinding second
As a flash of violet viciously threatened
I stare in wonderment
At the drenched world ahead,
Open all your doors tonight
Watch the drapes dance in the gust;
Let the rain come down
O let it make you shiver
A roaring wind
Howls into the night
A few blessed drops rest upon my skin
I ponder in wonderment
About the beauty that lies
In the hands of God
Grace that knows no bounds;
Let the rain come down tonight
O let it open your eyes
A distant tree trembles in fear
Leaves flutter, flowers so dear,
Shower in the holy water
It had been too long;
I muse in wonderment
About the land beyond the skies
Should I ever step onto that land?
For I have sinned O Lord
Let the rain come down tonight
Let it bare your illusions
Let the rain come down tonight
O feel it caress your soul
For a blinding second
As a flash of violet viciously threatened
I stare in wonderment
At the drenched world ahead,
Open all your doors tonight
Watch the drapes dance in the gust;
Let the rain come down
O let it make you shiver
A roaring wind
Howls into the night
A few blessed drops rest upon my skin
I ponder in wonderment
About the beauty that lies
In the hands of God
Grace that knows no bounds;
Let the rain come down tonight
O let it open your eyes
A distant tree trembles in fear
Leaves flutter, flowers so dear,
Shower in the holy water
It had been too long;
I muse in wonderment
About the land beyond the skies
Should I ever step onto that land?
For I have sinned O Lord
Let the rain come down tonight
Let it bare your illusions
Let the rain come down tonight
O feel it caress your soul
Thursday, February 21, 2008
8th February 2008
By: kutubuddin kamal
Nahian was not feeling good; rather he was feeling a lot of suppressed aggression, agitation and just plain annoyance. It hadn’t been a good day at school, not that any of his days at school were ever good but today was particularly obnoxious. Ria, a girl who constantly picked on him in class had poured a generous amount of water on the seat of his chair during economics class. The work was done with such perfection that Nahian was completely oblivious of the water on his seat, until it eventually seeped up into his pants. Startled, he jumped up and the entire class broke out into an unstoppable phase of laughter. Even Mr. Haque, the teacher, had a slight grin on his face which disgusted Nahian and he stormed out of the classroom and went to the toilet. He hadn’t been to any of the classes for the rest of the day. It was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, yet things like this always happened to him.During his rickshaw ride back home, he continually tried not to contemplate over the day’s event but ended up doing just that.
‘The fair is Tk. 20’ the rickshaw puller sternly informed him as Nahian disembarked in front of his house and handed him twelve taka.
Nahian couldn’t believe what he heard. The ride from Lalmatia to Mohammadpur was always twelve taka, fifteen if there was too much traffic, and this guy here is asking for twenty? Nahian wanted to take back the twelve taka and walk away, but instead ended up giving him another six taka and climbed up to the second floor of the building to the apartment where he lived with his mother.
As he rang the bell, a familiar distorted figure opened the door and stood in front of him. It was his sister. This day is officially the worst one ever, he muttered to himself. His sister stood at the doorway, scrutinizing him from top to bottom, in a weird gesture that made him feel like he was being scanned by a metal detector. After a minute’s silence she frowned and said‘Why did you grow a goatee?’‘I don’t know’, he was too accustomed to this question. Somehow everyone on earth had a problem with his goatee.
What is it to them? I grow it on my face not theirs! Nahian had thought several times before.
Now as he stood in front of his sister he wanted to tell her the same thing but she was one of those shrewd women, with whom he could never win an argument.‘Yes you do’ she replied scornfully. ‘Fine, I like it, that’s why’ ‘So now you are turning into a wannabe?’ She said sardonically. ‘No I’m not!’ he felt his voice rising with anger.‘The next time I visit, I’ll probably see you with your ears and nose pierced and hair dyed and…’Nahian stormed past her and went into his room, he had had enough.His sister, Saima who was seven years older than him had always been skeptical about him in every way. She also seemed to have a penchant towards finding his flaws.
When she got married last year and moved to Mirpur, Nahian had sighed in relief and had been close to being ecstatic. She would occasionally drop by and exasperate him, but at least it wasn’t an everyday occurrence. His mother would always nod in agreement when his sister went on and on about how he was transforming into a junkie and Nahian only wished she had been born mute.
Now that Saima has been pregnant for 3 months, her visits have become more frequent and Nahian felt sorry for his brother-in-law, Osman who had to deal with this tempestuous termagant every single day.
Nahian had always liked Osman. He was the exact opposite of his wife and seemed to understand the trouble his wife caused Nahian. One day he even overheard a conversation between them, Osman saying ‘Saima, he is only seventeen, it wouldn’t kill you to not bug him all the time.’
Although it was a futile effort, Nahian still appreciated the gesture.Regardless of the early unfortunate incidents of the day, today was a going to be an exceptional day for Nahian and he has been looking forward to this day for quite a while now. The rock band Artcell was going to perform at the Youth Club in Gulshan and to call Nahian a diehard fan would be an understatement. He had bought his ticket a month ago, the very first day of ticket sales. He told his mother about the concert a week ago during lunch and she simply listened with an expressionless face, putting him in a dilemma as to whether he would be allowed to go or not. He didn’t dare ask her again lest she said no.Now as he sat on his bed with a red face and still in his school uniform, he could hear Saima’s shrill voice yelling at his mother, telling her how arrogant he had become and how he lacked in decent manners. If it had been a different day, he probably wouldn’t let it get to him, but it had already been a terrible day from the start and his sister just pushed him over the edge. After ten more minutes, he finally got up, turned on his computer and played his favorite Artcell song with the volume up and went to the bathroom for a shower.
Just as he was done taking his shower, his mother entered the room and the music came to an abrupt stop as she unplugged the computer. He absolutely detested it when she did that.Nahian dragged his lean body out of the shower and with water still dripping from his wet hair; he stepped of the washroom‘How many times have I asked you not to turn the volume up so high?’ His mother asked, her pear shaped face with the bulging eyes showed contempt.Nahian shook his head.He knew there was no point in arguing with her. His mother claimed she knew everything, literally everything. Even if she said she had been the queen of England in her previous life, everyone would have to accept that as a fact
‘Why did you upset your sister? You know the doctor said she shouldn’t get stressed’‘I didn’t do anything, she just needed a reason to complain about me’ Nahian said flatly, not looking his mother in the eye‘I have warned you not to speak about her like that before; you shouldn’t forget that she is seven years older than you’And seven times more wicked, he thought‘Come have lunch and we’ll go to your aunt Mila’s house’Nahian was afraid he hadn’t heard her correctly‘Aunt Mila’s house?’‘Yes’‘But she lives in Old Dhaka and I have to be in Gulshan for the concert at 4’ replied a confused Nahian. ‘I had told you before about the concert, I …’His mother cut him short‘I don’t remember giving you the permission to go’Nahian was stupefied; he couldn’t believe he would miss the concert‘You have already started behaving like an outcast, and I won’t have any more of that concert nonsense, you are coming with us to aunt Mila’s and that’s all I know’ and with that she left the room.Nahian sat down on his bed, the water still slowly dripping from his hair.When it finally struck him that his mother was serious about not letting him go to the concert, he made up his mind. He was going to the concert.Lunch was quiet. Nahian’s father passed away when he was in grade six, his mother lived off his savings and owned a small boutique which allowed her to stay home almost all day. The only extra people today were his sister and brother-in-law. Saima didn’t speak to him, but didn’t forget to glare at him every time their eyes met. Osman had asked him about his school and friends and Nahian replied without asking reciprocating.After lunch, Nahian went back to his room. It was 3 in the afternoon and he began getting dressed to go to the concert. He didn’t have many friends in school, his only friend Maruf, went to Sylhet with his family, so that meant he would be going to the concert alone.Nahian checked his wallet. He had Tk. 200 that he had saved from the money his mother gave him every day for his rickshaw fare.Tk.200 would suffice he thought. He put on a plain black t-shirt, wore his favorite pair of worn out denims, shoved the ticket in his pocket and was all set.Now it was time for the most difficult part, to tell his mother, that he was going to the concert.Nahian slowly left his room and entered the living room where his mother, sister and brother-in-law where having a vivacious conversation.As he entered the room, Saima instantly stopped talking, the smiling face replaced by a grimace. His mother looked up at him 'I said we'll leave at 4, why are you dressed now?'
'I'm not going to aunt Mila's''What?..Why?' his mother eyed him suspiciously.'I told you I'm going to the concert''And I think I told you that you couldn't go! Is that too that hard for you to understand?'Nahian remained silent for a minute
'But Amma..please…its Artcell and I have always wanted to go to an Artcell concert and--''Now do you understand Amma what I told you' his sister interrupted. 'Your son has forgotten how to talk to his mother, must have learned all this inexplicable behavior from his friends in school'Nahian wanted to rip her giant head off! How he loathed her he couldn't explain.Osman who had been silently listening to the conversation cut in.
'Nahian its ok you can go to the concert'Saima glared at her husband in disbelief'Who are you to give him the permission to go?'
Osman ignored his wife and again asked Nahian to go to the concert.Nahian was so confused and excited that he even forgot to say thank you to Osman.He smiled at Osman and almost ran out of the house, beaming.
His mother remained silent, probably in confusion or infuriation.
The scorching afternoon sun embraced as Nahian stepped out of the house. The summer was at its prime, with terrible humidity and heat. Nahian walked from his house in Iqbal Road to Asad Asad Avenue, looking for a CNG auto rickshaw the entire way.
He had been standing on the sidewalk opposite to St. Joseph school for fifteen minutes now. The wide road of Asad Avenue was almost deserted with only occasional cars passing by. He had seen just two CNGs for hire, but both refused to take him to Gulshan, an every day, absolutely deplorable occurrence in Dhaka.
Another fifteen minutes went by and Nahian could feel the slow trickling down of sweat from his forehead and back as checked his for the 500th time. Finally he was too aggravated to be standing in the sun anymore and began walking when suddenly he heard a croaky voice say ‘Jaben Bhai?’ Nahian was startled to see that it was an auto rickshaw driver who had been driving behind him.
‘Yes, Gulshan’ replied Nahian spontaneously.
The shabby driver didn’t seem interested
‘There’s too much jam on the way and-‘
‘I’ll give you 10 taka over the meter fare’
‘Nah, it’s not worth it, will you go for a 100?’
Had it been another time, Nahian would probably have laughed his head off at the insinuation, but now it was different. He was less than half an hour away from the concert and was perspiring profusely.
‘Ok’ he said reluctantly and climbed into the three-wheeler.
After ten minutes, it turned out that the driver wasn’t exactly bluffing. They were stuck in terrible traffic at Bijoy Shoroni.
Damnit! murmured Nahian
‘Mama, we won’t be able to make it to Gulshan anytime soon’ the driver sighed.
Nahian wasn’t listening to him, he knew that already and was only wondering how he would manage to get inside the compound with the swarming crowd and long queue, let alone be there in time for the concert.
After another long twenty minutes, the three-wheeler was finally in Mohakhali, the traffic had thinned out a bit and the auto rickshaw took a quick right under the fly over and sped through the long road that connected Mohakhali to Gulshan-1.
Nahian checked his watch again, this time picturing himself in a few minutes time gloriously standing inches from the main gate of the youth club and handing his ticket to the guard, the guitar tunes engulfing him..
‘Crap!’ exclaimed the driver.
Nahian was shot back to reality and to his utter dismay realized what had happened. The three-wheeler had broken down and the driver stopped it in front of the Aristocrat Restaurant in Gulshan-1.
Nahian didn’t want to wait for the driver to try and fix it. The meter blinked Tk. 48. He hurriedly removed a 50 taka note from his wallet and handed it to him.
Nahian found himself almost running to reach the end of the road, where he would take a rickshaw to go to the youth club. A long queue of rickshaws were waiting for passengers and he got on the first one in the queue and said ‘Wonderland!’ the rickshaw puller sensing the urgency in his tone, peddled hard.
As the rickshaw came to a stop opposite to wonderland, Nahian thrust a ten taka note in the rickshaw puller’s hand and hurriedly crossed the busy road. As he walked towards the youth club, beside wonderland, something didn’t seem quite as right.
What was it? He wondered and then it came to him. ‘Why was everything so quiet? And where are all the cars and people?
He glanced at his watch again it was almost 5.
Had the concert ended so soon? No, that couldn’t be it
As the youth club came into view, things seemed even odder; there were teenagers and children playing in the field. There was no stage, no giant amplifiers, no binding lights, no sign of a concert to begin or to have just ended. Nahian was downright flabbergasted.
He approached a guard in uniform, leisurely sipping tea and taking long drags from his cigarette, sitting on a bench in a tea stall next to the gate.
‘Bhai, ajke concert chilo na?’ He asked inquisitively
‘Na’ the answer came flatly
‘Are you sure? I have the ticket with me right here’ said Nahian and brought out the red rectangular piece of cardboard paper out of his pocket and handed it to the guard.
He studied it for a few seconds then looked at Nahian with disdain.
‘Can’t you read?’ he asked
‘What?’ Nahian was taken aback
‘It says Friday, 8th February, today is Thursday’
In complete disbelief Nahian snatched the ticket from him and read the date ‘Friday, 8th February 2008’
Nahian didn’t quite know how to react, and found himself painfully smiling as he made his way back towards the main road.
So much for that!
Nahian was not feeling good; rather he was feeling a lot of suppressed aggression, agitation and just plain annoyance. It hadn’t been a good day at school, not that any of his days at school were ever good but today was particularly obnoxious. Ria, a girl who constantly picked on him in class had poured a generous amount of water on the seat of his chair during economics class. The work was done with such perfection that Nahian was completely oblivious of the water on his seat, until it eventually seeped up into his pants. Startled, he jumped up and the entire class broke out into an unstoppable phase of laughter. Even Mr. Haque, the teacher, had a slight grin on his face which disgusted Nahian and he stormed out of the classroom and went to the toilet. He hadn’t been to any of the classes for the rest of the day. It was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, yet things like this always happened to him.During his rickshaw ride back home, he continually tried not to contemplate over the day’s event but ended up doing just that.
‘The fair is Tk. 20’ the rickshaw puller sternly informed him as Nahian disembarked in front of his house and handed him twelve taka.
Nahian couldn’t believe what he heard. The ride from Lalmatia to Mohammadpur was always twelve taka, fifteen if there was too much traffic, and this guy here is asking for twenty? Nahian wanted to take back the twelve taka and walk away, but instead ended up giving him another six taka and climbed up to the second floor of the building to the apartment where he lived with his mother.
As he rang the bell, a familiar distorted figure opened the door and stood in front of him. It was his sister. This day is officially the worst one ever, he muttered to himself. His sister stood at the doorway, scrutinizing him from top to bottom, in a weird gesture that made him feel like he was being scanned by a metal detector. After a minute’s silence she frowned and said‘Why did you grow a goatee?’‘I don’t know’, he was too accustomed to this question. Somehow everyone on earth had a problem with his goatee.
What is it to them? I grow it on my face not theirs! Nahian had thought several times before.
Now as he stood in front of his sister he wanted to tell her the same thing but she was one of those shrewd women, with whom he could never win an argument.‘Yes you do’ she replied scornfully. ‘Fine, I like it, that’s why’ ‘So now you are turning into a wannabe?’ She said sardonically. ‘No I’m not!’ he felt his voice rising with anger.‘The next time I visit, I’ll probably see you with your ears and nose pierced and hair dyed and…’Nahian stormed past her and went into his room, he had had enough.His sister, Saima who was seven years older than him had always been skeptical about him in every way. She also seemed to have a penchant towards finding his flaws.
When she got married last year and moved to Mirpur, Nahian had sighed in relief and had been close to being ecstatic. She would occasionally drop by and exasperate him, but at least it wasn’t an everyday occurrence. His mother would always nod in agreement when his sister went on and on about how he was transforming into a junkie and Nahian only wished she had been born mute.
Now that Saima has been pregnant for 3 months, her visits have become more frequent and Nahian felt sorry for his brother-in-law, Osman who had to deal with this tempestuous termagant every single day.
Nahian had always liked Osman. He was the exact opposite of his wife and seemed to understand the trouble his wife caused Nahian. One day he even overheard a conversation between them, Osman saying ‘Saima, he is only seventeen, it wouldn’t kill you to not bug him all the time.’
Although it was a futile effort, Nahian still appreciated the gesture.Regardless of the early unfortunate incidents of the day, today was a going to be an exceptional day for Nahian and he has been looking forward to this day for quite a while now. The rock band Artcell was going to perform at the Youth Club in Gulshan and to call Nahian a diehard fan would be an understatement. He had bought his ticket a month ago, the very first day of ticket sales. He told his mother about the concert a week ago during lunch and she simply listened with an expressionless face, putting him in a dilemma as to whether he would be allowed to go or not. He didn’t dare ask her again lest she said no.Now as he sat on his bed with a red face and still in his school uniform, he could hear Saima’s shrill voice yelling at his mother, telling her how arrogant he had become and how he lacked in decent manners. If it had been a different day, he probably wouldn’t let it get to him, but it had already been a terrible day from the start and his sister just pushed him over the edge. After ten more minutes, he finally got up, turned on his computer and played his favorite Artcell song with the volume up and went to the bathroom for a shower.
Just as he was done taking his shower, his mother entered the room and the music came to an abrupt stop as she unplugged the computer. He absolutely detested it when she did that.Nahian dragged his lean body out of the shower and with water still dripping from his wet hair; he stepped of the washroom‘How many times have I asked you not to turn the volume up so high?’ His mother asked, her pear shaped face with the bulging eyes showed contempt.Nahian shook his head.He knew there was no point in arguing with her. His mother claimed she knew everything, literally everything. Even if she said she had been the queen of England in her previous life, everyone would have to accept that as a fact
‘Why did you upset your sister? You know the doctor said she shouldn’t get stressed’‘I didn’t do anything, she just needed a reason to complain about me’ Nahian said flatly, not looking his mother in the eye‘I have warned you not to speak about her like that before; you shouldn’t forget that she is seven years older than you’And seven times more wicked, he thought‘Come have lunch and we’ll go to your aunt Mila’s house’Nahian was afraid he hadn’t heard her correctly‘Aunt Mila’s house?’‘Yes’‘But she lives in Old Dhaka and I have to be in Gulshan for the concert at 4’ replied a confused Nahian. ‘I had told you before about the concert, I …’His mother cut him short‘I don’t remember giving you the permission to go’Nahian was stupefied; he couldn’t believe he would miss the concert‘You have already started behaving like an outcast, and I won’t have any more of that concert nonsense, you are coming with us to aunt Mila’s and that’s all I know’ and with that she left the room.Nahian sat down on his bed, the water still slowly dripping from his hair.When it finally struck him that his mother was serious about not letting him go to the concert, he made up his mind. He was going to the concert.Lunch was quiet. Nahian’s father passed away when he was in grade six, his mother lived off his savings and owned a small boutique which allowed her to stay home almost all day. The only extra people today were his sister and brother-in-law. Saima didn’t speak to him, but didn’t forget to glare at him every time their eyes met. Osman had asked him about his school and friends and Nahian replied without asking reciprocating.After lunch, Nahian went back to his room. It was 3 in the afternoon and he began getting dressed to go to the concert. He didn’t have many friends in school, his only friend Maruf, went to Sylhet with his family, so that meant he would be going to the concert alone.Nahian checked his wallet. He had Tk. 200 that he had saved from the money his mother gave him every day for his rickshaw fare.Tk.200 would suffice he thought. He put on a plain black t-shirt, wore his favorite pair of worn out denims, shoved the ticket in his pocket and was all set.Now it was time for the most difficult part, to tell his mother, that he was going to the concert.Nahian slowly left his room and entered the living room where his mother, sister and brother-in-law where having a vivacious conversation.As he entered the room, Saima instantly stopped talking, the smiling face replaced by a grimace. His mother looked up at him 'I said we'll leave at 4, why are you dressed now?'
'I'm not going to aunt Mila's''What?..Why?' his mother eyed him suspiciously.'I told you I'm going to the concert''And I think I told you that you couldn't go! Is that too that hard for you to understand?'Nahian remained silent for a minute
'But Amma..please…its Artcell and I have always wanted to go to an Artcell concert and--''Now do you understand Amma what I told you' his sister interrupted. 'Your son has forgotten how to talk to his mother, must have learned all this inexplicable behavior from his friends in school'Nahian wanted to rip her giant head off! How he loathed her he couldn't explain.Osman who had been silently listening to the conversation cut in.
'Nahian its ok you can go to the concert'Saima glared at her husband in disbelief'Who are you to give him the permission to go?'
Osman ignored his wife and again asked Nahian to go to the concert.Nahian was so confused and excited that he even forgot to say thank you to Osman.He smiled at Osman and almost ran out of the house, beaming.
His mother remained silent, probably in confusion or infuriation.
The scorching afternoon sun embraced as Nahian stepped out of the house. The summer was at its prime, with terrible humidity and heat. Nahian walked from his house in Iqbal Road to Asad Asad Avenue, looking for a CNG auto rickshaw the entire way.
He had been standing on the sidewalk opposite to St. Joseph school for fifteen minutes now. The wide road of Asad Avenue was almost deserted with only occasional cars passing by. He had seen just two CNGs for hire, but both refused to take him to Gulshan, an every day, absolutely deplorable occurrence in Dhaka.
Another fifteen minutes went by and Nahian could feel the slow trickling down of sweat from his forehead and back as checked his for the 500th time. Finally he was too aggravated to be standing in the sun anymore and began walking when suddenly he heard a croaky voice say ‘Jaben Bhai?’ Nahian was startled to see that it was an auto rickshaw driver who had been driving behind him.
‘Yes, Gulshan’ replied Nahian spontaneously.
The shabby driver didn’t seem interested
‘There’s too much jam on the way and-‘
‘I’ll give you 10 taka over the meter fare’
‘Nah, it’s not worth it, will you go for a 100?’
Had it been another time, Nahian would probably have laughed his head off at the insinuation, but now it was different. He was less than half an hour away from the concert and was perspiring profusely.
‘Ok’ he said reluctantly and climbed into the three-wheeler.
After ten minutes, it turned out that the driver wasn’t exactly bluffing. They were stuck in terrible traffic at Bijoy Shoroni.
Damnit! murmured Nahian
‘Mama, we won’t be able to make it to Gulshan anytime soon’ the driver sighed.
Nahian wasn’t listening to him, he knew that already and was only wondering how he would manage to get inside the compound with the swarming crowd and long queue, let alone be there in time for the concert.
After another long twenty minutes, the three-wheeler was finally in Mohakhali, the traffic had thinned out a bit and the auto rickshaw took a quick right under the fly over and sped through the long road that connected Mohakhali to Gulshan-1.
Nahian checked his watch again, this time picturing himself in a few minutes time gloriously standing inches from the main gate of the youth club and handing his ticket to the guard, the guitar tunes engulfing him..
‘Crap!’ exclaimed the driver.
Nahian was shot back to reality and to his utter dismay realized what had happened. The three-wheeler had broken down and the driver stopped it in front of the Aristocrat Restaurant in Gulshan-1.
Nahian didn’t want to wait for the driver to try and fix it. The meter blinked Tk. 48. He hurriedly removed a 50 taka note from his wallet and handed it to him.
Nahian found himself almost running to reach the end of the road, where he would take a rickshaw to go to the youth club. A long queue of rickshaws were waiting for passengers and he got on the first one in the queue and said ‘Wonderland!’ the rickshaw puller sensing the urgency in his tone, peddled hard.
As the rickshaw came to a stop opposite to wonderland, Nahian thrust a ten taka note in the rickshaw puller’s hand and hurriedly crossed the busy road. As he walked towards the youth club, beside wonderland, something didn’t seem quite as right.
What was it? He wondered and then it came to him. ‘Why was everything so quiet? And where are all the cars and people?
He glanced at his watch again it was almost 5.
Had the concert ended so soon? No, that couldn’t be it
As the youth club came into view, things seemed even odder; there were teenagers and children playing in the field. There was no stage, no giant amplifiers, no binding lights, no sign of a concert to begin or to have just ended. Nahian was downright flabbergasted.
He approached a guard in uniform, leisurely sipping tea and taking long drags from his cigarette, sitting on a bench in a tea stall next to the gate.
‘Bhai, ajke concert chilo na?’ He asked inquisitively
‘Na’ the answer came flatly
‘Are you sure? I have the ticket with me right here’ said Nahian and brought out the red rectangular piece of cardboard paper out of his pocket and handed it to the guard.
He studied it for a few seconds then looked at Nahian with disdain.
‘Can’t you read?’ he asked
‘What?’ Nahian was taken aback
‘It says Friday, 8th February, today is Thursday’
In complete disbelief Nahian snatched the ticket from him and read the date ‘Friday, 8th February 2008’
Nahian didn’t quite know how to react, and found himself painfully smiling as he made his way back towards the main road.
So much for that!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tk. 12!
Yesterday, after quite a while I had credit on my phone, yet it wasn't much, merely 100Tk, which by today morning was 86.
The one reason why I don't usually get much credit for my phone is because I have a pretty little habbit of calling up old friends or teachers and using up all my credit, totally oblivious of the money I'm spending. Today that happened again. I was early for my maths class, so I called up my friend Nabil on his cell phone, who lives in the US now.
'The caller you have called, does not have a voicemail box' said the flirtacious female voice from the other end, with a light accent. I admit I was confused, who wouldn't be? But then I realised his cell phone must be turned off, so i dialled his room number. There was no reply. Fun for me! I was surrounded by a bunch of insanely disturbing individuals whom I detest, who lack in civil manners, and fail to engage in a normal conversation let alone speak properly. It wasn't exactly my idea of a fun classroom.
So I go through my phone book again and Atif's name came up. He is another lameass friend of mine who had left for the US last year and I called him up. The godd thing was he picked up, the bad thing was all he kept on saying was 'hello hello?' It would have been ok for me to keep on sayin 'Atif, its me!' but I had called halfway across the globe and it was costing me around Tk.20 a minute. After 10 seconds of 'hello' I hung up and dialled again. This time, the wonderful magic of technology didn't fail me, and he could hear me and we had a 3 minute conversation. It was fun but how much could you share in just 3 mintues with an old friend? I got back to class and told my only friend in the class, sadia, about how I had called atif, and she thought I was insane to be calling up people in America when I hardly ever have credit. She did have a point, but hell the rest of humaity think I'm insane anyway so all I can do is just be insane!
As i checked my a/c I realised I had only Tk.12 left. It did come as quite a surprise, I assumed i would have atleast Tk.30 or 40 but well what do you know? Life is always full of surprises! It wasn't great for someone who is completely broke at the end of the month. So as much as i hated it, I had to ask sadia to lend me Tk.50 for my phone credit and assured her I would pay her back on the 8th of next month, the day I would get paid. So much to pay for, so much to buy, and all to be done within a mere Tk.4000...sighh..the only thing I can afford is an occasional coke, the rest is all spent on my rickshaw fare and buying birthday gifts for friends or family. Which reminds me that Aumiya's birthday is coming up next month, mine the month after that and Imtiaz's the month after that! hahaha...another 3 months of borrowing more money from my mummy! life officially SUCKS! when did it stop sucking anyway?
The one reason why I don't usually get much credit for my phone is because I have a pretty little habbit of calling up old friends or teachers and using up all my credit, totally oblivious of the money I'm spending. Today that happened again. I was early for my maths class, so I called up my friend Nabil on his cell phone, who lives in the US now.
'The caller you have called, does not have a voicemail box' said the flirtacious female voice from the other end, with a light accent. I admit I was confused, who wouldn't be? But then I realised his cell phone must be turned off, so i dialled his room number. There was no reply. Fun for me! I was surrounded by a bunch of insanely disturbing individuals whom I detest, who lack in civil manners, and fail to engage in a normal conversation let alone speak properly. It wasn't exactly my idea of a fun classroom.
So I go through my phone book again and Atif's name came up. He is another lameass friend of mine who had left for the US last year and I called him up. The godd thing was he picked up, the bad thing was all he kept on saying was 'hello hello?' It would have been ok for me to keep on sayin 'Atif, its me!' but I had called halfway across the globe and it was costing me around Tk.20 a minute. After 10 seconds of 'hello' I hung up and dialled again. This time, the wonderful magic of technology didn't fail me, and he could hear me and we had a 3 minute conversation. It was fun but how much could you share in just 3 mintues with an old friend? I got back to class and told my only friend in the class, sadia, about how I had called atif, and she thought I was insane to be calling up people in America when I hardly ever have credit. She did have a point, but hell the rest of humaity think I'm insane anyway so all I can do is just be insane!
As i checked my a/c I realised I had only Tk.12 left. It did come as quite a surprise, I assumed i would have atleast Tk.30 or 40 but well what do you know? Life is always full of surprises! It wasn't great for someone who is completely broke at the end of the month. So as much as i hated it, I had to ask sadia to lend me Tk.50 for my phone credit and assured her I would pay her back on the 8th of next month, the day I would get paid. So much to pay for, so much to buy, and all to be done within a mere Tk.4000...sighh..the only thing I can afford is an occasional coke, the rest is all spent on my rickshaw fare and buying birthday gifts for friends or family. Which reminds me that Aumiya's birthday is coming up next month, mine the month after that and Imtiaz's the month after that! hahaha...another 3 months of borrowing more money from my mummy! life officially SUCKS! when did it stop sucking anyway?
Monday, January 21, 2008
It's a Monday
Yesterday was fun, but not until 9pm.
All I did the entire day was wander around the apartment, occasionally yelling at my father, who has a charm for indulgence in all kinds of activities that hardly make sense and often gets everyone at home annoyed. Like the other day when we had a few guests coming over for dinner, instead of helping my mother and us with the cooking and the cleaning, he had the brilliant idea of getting tomato plants!..yes you've read that right, and so he did.
I had woken up at around midday and tried watching TV for a while but there wasn't anything worth watching. Heres the thing, weekends are supposed to be relaxing and people are meant to turn into couch potatoes with a mug of coffee, but ironically the worst shows are always aired during the weekends..something I'll never understand. My internet connection was messed up and so going online wasn't an option either. The breakthrough finally came for me at 9 in the evening when flipping through the channels I suddenly saw Bush amidst several little middle eastern girls dancing (No he wasn't dancing, the little girls were). As inquisitive as I am, I continued watching the clip that honestly, was kind of hilarious. Anyway the clip ends and I discover it's the Today Show with John Stewart. For the next half an hour or so I found it quite difficult to stop laughing. Heres the best of what I had seen. Bush was giving a speech in front of the american troops in Iran (Or maybe some other middle eastern country, I am not sure) and he says 'When history was written, the final page will say that the United States have fought for peace' (or something along the lines, I do not recall the exact words) if you still haven't figured out why I put so much emphasis on this particular sentence, read it again. Yes Mr. George W. Bush is actually combining both the future and the past in some insanse universe which goes beyond my apprehension. This coming from the President of the United States. Sadly enough, even me, a person from a third world country could acknowlege the simple mistake in enligsh..
After the show ended, I found one of my dearest friends online and we had a real fun conversation after a while at the end of which she called me. (the reason why it's significant is because she lives in Candana and I live in Bangladesh). I had another two hours of laughter!
However, coming to think of it, tomorrow is not going to be the least bit fun. I'll have to go back to college and my classes begin at 8 in the damn morning. After which I have to go to work and finish a 1500 word assignment, which is not really the main problem. What concerns me is working at the office because I just can't concentrate as much as I can when I work at home, which again is not possible for my computer is messed up and having much fun in ruining my life!
Its 9:15 pm now and even though today wasn't quite eventful, it wasn't a total bust either . Work was fun and I had my daily dose of 'Friends' and 'Seinfeld'. Now I am waiting for the clock to strike 10:30 and I can finally watch 'The Last Comic Standing' a show that I wait for every week. Yes you have guessed it right. I do have a thing for laughter! ;)
All I did the entire day was wander around the apartment, occasionally yelling at my father, who has a charm for indulgence in all kinds of activities that hardly make sense and often gets everyone at home annoyed. Like the other day when we had a few guests coming over for dinner, instead of helping my mother and us with the cooking and the cleaning, he had the brilliant idea of getting tomato plants!..yes you've read that right, and so he did.
I had woken up at around midday and tried watching TV for a while but there wasn't anything worth watching. Heres the thing, weekends are supposed to be relaxing and people are meant to turn into couch potatoes with a mug of coffee, but ironically the worst shows are always aired during the weekends..something I'll never understand. My internet connection was messed up and so going online wasn't an option either. The breakthrough finally came for me at 9 in the evening when flipping through the channels I suddenly saw Bush amidst several little middle eastern girls dancing (No he wasn't dancing, the little girls were). As inquisitive as I am, I continued watching the clip that honestly, was kind of hilarious. Anyway the clip ends and I discover it's the Today Show with John Stewart. For the next half an hour or so I found it quite difficult to stop laughing. Heres the best of what I had seen. Bush was giving a speech in front of the american troops in Iran (Or maybe some other middle eastern country, I am not sure) and he says 'When history was written, the final page will say that the United States have fought for peace' (or something along the lines, I do not recall the exact words) if you still haven't figured out why I put so much emphasis on this particular sentence, read it again. Yes Mr. George W. Bush is actually combining both the future and the past in some insanse universe which goes beyond my apprehension. This coming from the President of the United States. Sadly enough, even me, a person from a third world country could acknowlege the simple mistake in enligsh..
After the show ended, I found one of my dearest friends online and we had a real fun conversation after a while at the end of which she called me. (the reason why it's significant is because she lives in Candana and I live in Bangladesh). I had another two hours of laughter!
However, coming to think of it, tomorrow is not going to be the least bit fun. I'll have to go back to college and my classes begin at 8 in the damn morning. After which I have to go to work and finish a 1500 word assignment, which is not really the main problem. What concerns me is working at the office because I just can't concentrate as much as I can when I work at home, which again is not possible for my computer is messed up and having much fun in ruining my life!
Its 9:15 pm now and even though today wasn't quite eventful, it wasn't a total bust either . Work was fun and I had my daily dose of 'Friends' and 'Seinfeld'. Now I am waiting for the clock to strike 10:30 and I can finally watch 'The Last Comic Standing' a show that I wait for every week. Yes you have guessed it right. I do have a thing for laughter! ;)
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Do you?
Do you ever wonder what it takes to go through each day?
Do you ponder about days to come or contemplate about days gone by?
Or do you take each day as it comes?
Do you ponder about days to come or contemplate about days gone by?
Or do you take each day as it comes?
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